Back to Bikram

Today I'm thinking about MAYBE fitting a Bikram class into my day. It's about so much more than just showing up today. Please bear with me.

I haven't been to a class in over 2 weeks. Before that it was two weeks since the last class. Before that it was one month. This equals 2 months and only 4 Bikram classes.

Life happened you see.

I got married. I honeymooned for a month. I developed a minor heart condition. Dad got sick. Now I am back, here in Vancouver on my ass, thinking how can I just go back to my usual studio when I have changed so much. I feel so brand new and in sync with it all. I am challenged in my everyday so why add these grueling 90 minutes back into my routine?

Sure the patience and well being that I experienced throughout these major events are heavily inspired by the yoga within.. but I don't really OWE my practice anything.. life is ok, it is moving, I am in it so why should I go backwards?

I guess it comes down to being ready to move forward with this evolved version of me. Can't it just be as simple as, "I don't want to go to yoga today?" Yes it can, but its obviously not. I have been in Vancouver for almost a week now and still feel weird when I think about going back to the studio. It's not my body, it's not dealing with familiarly unfamiliar faces, it's just fucking hard.

I don't want to go back, I want to move forward. Wish me luck.


Catherine said...

This is an amazing bit of writing here, Ker-sten. I didn't realize you had so, *so* much going on. How was it? #bikrambuddies

Bikramyogajourney said...

Hi Catherine! I hate to say it, but I think my practice has hit an all time low. Class was actually boring. II am not saying that I didn't work hard, I was physically challenged but I never realized how long 90 minutes was. Going to yoga is a choice and after so long of not being able to physically go, now I just don't want to go. With that said, its good for me so I am not going to push it.

I will not go today, but I will go tomorrow at whichever time feels right. I will slowly ease back into it. Hopefully.

Thank you for caring and asking how it was. How have you been?

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