Mental Masturbation

Yoga is the ONLY exercise I practice regularly that I don't take inflammatory pain medicine for- before I go.

That changed three weeks ago. I woke up and bam, another setback. Did I sleep wrong? Had I been unevenly strengthening the muscles that keep my patella in place? Why is my alignment so off?

With that said, lately going to yoga has been a HUGE chore and pain in the ass. This is a time in my life is when I really need to go. I need to WANT to go. I have set a small goal of practice 3X this week. This is a step up from my 1X per week practice as of late.

Every time I look in the mirror, my right hip is higher than my left his or my toes don't point the right way, or I don't trust myself. This is so frustrating and I find standing in the back trying not to cry both self serving (in that I actually show up) and and self depreciating at the same time.

I have glimpses of well-being and wholeness from yoga. I see what is possible. Right now I just have a hard time reaching for it.

1 comment:

Winds of Change said...

Hi! I'm your newest follower! I think yoga is cool! I love the music! If it's something you want to do, don't give up on it!

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