Cold Feet

First of all, I have debated posting this. The reason being that I don't mean to sound ungrateful for my health and the opportunity. But the truth is that I am still finding the way to be MOST grateful for the opportunity to go to Teacher Training. I am making it count.

The closer I get to training, the more freaked out I am. I don't know where all of this emotion and fear is coming from but it is definitely here.

Keeping the fire inside of why I want to teach is key here. I remind myself that each person, each teacher is different, that I have something independent and unique to offer to my students. Right now I just feel like I am living up to so many of others expectations but the thing as no one has offered anything but words of encouragement so all of these 'others' expectations are coming from me.

It is a mind game right now and the monkey is winning.

This person I was when I quit my day job and went back to school with the end purpose of Teacher Training seems to be missing in action I am coming face to face with the doubt inside of me that tells me, 'You will fail so just back out now.'

I think I need to lighten up, find a way to take this less seriously, but it is my life even if it is just yoga.

On the positive side, I have started to go through the motions. In fact, now that I am writing it I realize that that might all be part of the process. I deal with anxiety. Deal is the wrong word, RUN from anxiety is more like it. How can I warm my cold feet?

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