I am focusing on some advice I was blessed with, 'walk myself hand by hand' slowly letting others see my vulnerabilities so that I may eventually shed my fears and see my power. This was a meditation today in practice. I know we aren't supposed to think, but I got lost in this place as I tried to look my teacher(myself) in the mirror.. Time flew. I have not practiced since my last post and have been eating way too much food. Good food.. but too much.

One of the bonuses of Yoga has been my ability to regulate my appetite and also the small improvements I have seen in the quality of life I lead without knee pain. The past couple of weeks, my dedication to Yoga has been erratic and I have probably gained 3 pounds. I do not nickel and dime when it comes to weight- what I mean by this is that I do not weigh myself and I eat what I want- however when my body gains even an ounce, my right knee screams. I am only 28 and have arthritis. It is limiting and I forgot how badly it hurt until yesterday- after not practicing- my knee felt like it was going to explode. A hint of what is to come as my age progresses. I am hoping that moving forward and after this practice, I will see some change in my knee. Either in more pain or less. I am hoping that it will get better.

I left the room today as well. It was so hot. The hardest part of the class for me lately is all of the asanas on my stomach. This is because I trap so much heat on the front side of my body when I lay on it. We all trap heat there and today it was unbearable. My eye started to twitch and I could see the blood beating to the rhythm of my heart in my eyeballs. I stretched farther and went hard, I am wrung out. My teacher made a correction during Janushirasana (head to knee pose). My feet tend to fall to the floor because that is how my body is aligned. She said to point the toes up toward the ceiling when flexing.

My intention for this week is to improve my posture. I believe my posture is the source for my continued re injury of my back muscles. See what happens when you don't go to yoga?-Your body falls apart- I cannot believe that this is how I used to live- with all of these little aches and pains.

While my intention for this next week may be posture. I see the power of setting an intention. It is a way to focus your energy even when you aren't consciously thinking about it. Manifestation. Intention. I am energy moving.


belovely said...

Hey again,
I had another thought reading this post...I'm not sure what the approach is at yours, but at my home studio the teachers really encourage yogis to do all they can to stay in the room the full 90 minutes. Even if this means sitting down to take a break during the standing series, or laying down in savasana during the floor series, it's really a great idea to keep your body's limits in check as you practice. This way you know when you've met your edge and can be proud to know you're doing the best YOU can even as you rest. You commit to doing just that -- resting -- with as much intention and dedication as you do your yoga, and that way you don't go running out of the room or get overwhelmed or anything. You keep your control. :) Obviously this may be different at your studio -- perhaps they encourage you to leave the room if you're getting dizzy or nauseous or whatever, but just a thought. Hope it's helpful in continuing to deepen your Bikram practice!

Kirsten Flower Petal Blooming said...

Thank you for the support. I know staying in the room is best but sometimes my mind gets the best of me!

belovely said...

Definitely. Staying in the room is hard!

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