I dare you to move

Today's class was one of the hottest and draining classes I have done. First of all, I have not been taking care of myself- body/mind for the past week. Recovering from cold, still sunburned, and partying for the past two days did not help. I was dehydrated and after sitting out the entire spine strengthening series, I decided I was ready to leave the room.

Everything was shifty and I felt like I was going to faint or fall asleep- somewhere in between there. Sweat was dripping off my body in a steady stream even though I had been sitting poses out in an effort to find some energy and will to push through the labored breathing and weak muscles I had today. We had two beginners in class and the instructor would not let one of them leave, she told her to sit down and do whatever she needed to do on her mat except leave it. So I knew that if I was going to leave, it would have to be when she had her attention on another student.

Up until this day I have not yet left the room, mind and body working to power through and grow from any feeling of frustration tempting me to leave. But today I was ready. On my back, helpless and looking like the ghost of yoga past- I looked to the instructor and shook my head as if to say I'd had enough. Her response was, 'you cannot leave you have to set an example for other students'. She got me some fresh cold water and I continued to labor.

I did stay in the room for the full 90 minutes today, and this was the hardest thing of all. Harder than trying to straighten the leg or go back.. way back. The longer I laid there on my back in Savasana (Dead Body Pose), I started to think about how generally lazy and unmotivated I can be. I will lay in bed/sit on couch until the cows come home when I have a lot to do. Refusing to move forward and get up and do what needs to be done. The tasks in front of me too great I lay or sit defeated and unwilling. I am not saying that this is what I did today in class as I was truly struggling. I am saying that I believe in chance and I also believe that things/events/state of mind can happen for a reason. I don't enjoy being frozen and so often it is how I am. Today I was frozen in a hot room.

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