Day 3: Compassion

Yesterday I was so exhausted that I couldn't make it to the hill to go snowboarding after my morning class. My body felt fantastic though, there is nothing else on earth that enables me to feel like I do after a Bikram Yoga class. Today I got some mountain time in the AM and took a later class. After snowboarding, my legs always feel stronger in class even as random bruises from boots and bumps start to surface.

I am dealing with a stiff neck. That is not a good way to start a challenge, because if I remember correctly.. it only get's harder before it doesn't get harder (not going to say it gets easier). To deal, I am not turning my head in right Triangle, Final Spinal, and today I sat out Rabbit.. and I love Rabbit. Lately I have been able to feel my vertebrate separating in that posture and it fells amazing. Teach gave me some great advice to really let it all go in Standing Separate Leg Stretching Pose, letting my spine hang down, gravity pulling it towards the floor. We are supposed to do this in every class, but today I let my focus center there. While doing this, I almost forgot about my screaming hamstrings.. almost.

Yesterday, my teach was very hands on. Finding a Bikram Yoga teacher who is confident enough to make corrections AND has eyes in the back of their head is a rarity and a gift. He makes it possible to be in every.single.moment. of class. With my neck and back muscles clenched from my stiff neck, by the end of Half Moon, I was out of breath. I was, as my teacher put it, suffering. Staring down at the floor with my chest heaving, I did not panic. I stood on my mat, in my space, and reminded myself not to judge the fact that it was so early in class and already I was loosing steam. I would trust myself to catch my breath and I would trust myself to join back in when I was ready. Teach noticed and said, "Kirsten, you are suffering. That is alright but look in the mirror and witness yourself suffering." What a beautiful and honest joy to for my teacher to see me in that moment and to be there to lean on.

Giddy

I did it. I did it with so much joy I felt like the entire room thought I had taken a hefty dose of MDMA before class.

I approached my teacher before class and told her quickly and giddily with tears in my eyes. 'TODAY'S MY FIRST DAY BACK IN OVER A MONTH'. I did a bunny hop too (such a yoga dork). She said I would be fine... to which I replied, "I know but I am having some heart problems so I will stand in the back and sit down if needed and leave when and if I need to."

She said of course and gave me a curious glance.

I didn't leave the room. It was quite the opposite with no irregular heartbeats to speak of. I pushed hard but not too hard. I even saw my partner in the corner who also hadn't been in a month and a half. (We got hitched and honeymooned in Indonesia for a month but more on that in another post). He had sloppy arms but not I!

The hardest posture was Awkward as my legs have gotten weaker. My favorite posture was Final Spinal in which I had a breakthrough by pulling into and up through my core like I never have before (that rhymes).

I told my fear to shove it with a royal 'F-U' and p.u.s.h.e.d. Camel to my limit letting my heart know that I was not afraid. Twice, I could have stayed there all day.

I was dizzy in Rabbit, which was my only freak out.

My alignment in Half Moon was less than stellar thanks to my long time not practicing.

So today I am in another State and another city with no Bikram Studio. I sit recuperating and sore from my first day back with my second love (Bikram). I have never wanted to be a teacher more in my life. Life looks good.

A teacher recommended 'fish oil' supplements to help with faster healing of sore muscles.. but I am a vegetarian and don't trust the source of a supplement titled 'fish oil'. I am looking for a vegetarian supplement that would help me and my sore overstretched muscles recoup more efficiently.

*Photo from http://favim.com

Gratitude

First things first. I got my AWESOME Baktuli towel in the mail. I won the towel by entering the holiday giveaways on Alive in the Fire. Rachel at Alive in the Fire teamed up with Yoga with Style for this lucky giveaway. This is a picture of the towel. Baktuli makes hot yoga towels that are durable and ideal for the hot yoga girl or guy. My man has sported one for the past 4 months and now I do to! I broke mine in last night. Buy them online here.
A towel and mat are required to practice Bikram Yoga. This is for many reasons. The first being that you sweat. You sweat a lot. Sweat is slippery. A towel gives traction and eliminates your sweat from puddling. Ew. We also use the towel in Rabbit Posture as seen in the picture. The towel is brought over the feet in order to ensure you get a grip that allows you to focus on the posture, not the slippage.
The Baktuli is SLIGHTLY longer than my Yoga mat which is perfect, because I am slightly longer than my yoga mat. It is super soft and really absorbent. This particular towel says, 'Some like it hot'. Indeed. So a big thanks to Rachel at Alive in the Fire and Jen at Yoga with Style. It IS in giving that we receive and this towel is a reminder of the good things that happen when you put yourself out there and do what you love.

P.S. You're a towel.