Tuned in

I now understand the incredible power of turning your brain off and listening to the dialogue. During Dandayamana- Bibhaktapada- Janushirasana (Standing Separate Leg Head to Knee Pose) I put my chin to my chest and went down to find a miracle. My hips were squared, core strong, and my HANDS IN PRAYER! I was solid not shaking and my frond leg was even straight/locked. I was there for about 5 seconds before I realized what I had done.

This pose I have been struggling with for the past couple of months. It seems like it was one of those poses that was easy at first, then harder as the classes wore on. I don't know what will happen tomorrow but I know what happened today and I am amazed. This is the same pose, that two weeks ago- our instructor paced the room and called those of us who couldn't bring our hands together, "lazy". Since then, I have been repeating that to myself. Wow.

My Decsion

I waited until 8PM for the last Bikram's class offered at my neighborhood studio. I did this because I knew that tonight my mind would be running wild and I would be desperately trying to calm it. My 90 minutes spent in class were used to control and meditate on the certainty of my strong body- to feel its edges and angels as I moved.

My intention today was determination to be at peace with my decisions. Small decisions in class such as not falling out of Dandayamana-JanuShirasana (Standing Head to Knee). My left leg kicks out so much more proud than my right one.

In Tadasana (Tree Pose), I looked at the way my strong and broad shoulders curve gently up creating my neck then up to my eyes and my hair as it fell out of place. I am gentle and I and strong. I am confident that the decision I made earlier today was neither right nor a wrong. I realize that is not what was ever about- the decision I made earlier today was My decision.

My class today was beautiful. My yoga practice is always challenging but today I chose to go to class because I wanted to and because I needed to.